


Sins of Devils

by imamotherfuckingstarlord



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan, season 4 spoilers - Fandom
Genre: Anime, F/M, POV Jean Kirstein, aot - Freeform, attack on titan - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-27
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-12 22:06:48
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 11,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29017890
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imamotherfuckingstarlord/pseuds/imamotherfuckingstarlord
Summary: Four years after Reiner and Bertholdt’s betrayal, Jean and you have managed to make a life together but a new mission promises answers from the past. Will you finally get answers from Reiner and will he meet the daughter he left behind?
Relationships: Jean Kirstein/Reader, Reiner Braun/Reader
Comments: 40
Kudos: 225





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Ongoing series!

The trees provided shade from the glaring sun; the smallest of breeze came upwind from the meadow and the beads of sweat on Jean’s forehead felt cool against his skin. The little blond girl in front of him ran in circles, giggling and calling for his attention as you slept beside him on the grass. Your head in his lap as his cheeks warmed from the delicate expression on your face; eyes closed, lips plumped, he felt his body relax as the sound of laughter filled his ears.

He never wanted the moment to end, it had been four years since Reiner disappeared and Bertholdt died but somedays it felt just like yesterday. The hurt, confusion, anger, it consumed him like the others but when he had found out you were with child, none of it seemed to matter. 

At least not until now. 

“Dad, is Mom dead?” 

Jean’s eyes widen, the innocent question made him smile. He glanced down to you and touched the side of your face. “She’s just sleeping, Amora.” 

“Oh,” the little girl smiled in relief, “That’s good.” 

He watched as she continued to play, the sound of her laughter echoed loud as he looked up into the sky. It was almost time to for his meeting with Levi and the others, he was a commanding officer now; which meant a lot more duties than before. There were perks to that – when the two of you married, the two of you were given permission to leave off base. 

Your home was modest, but it was your own. 

“How does she have so much energy?” 

Jean glanced down at you, smiling. “She is your daughter.” 

Agreeing, you sat up and let proceed to crawl over Jean’s leg to settle in between his thighs. He opened his arms and waited until you were settled down to cradle you into his chest. The warmth radiating from your body made him blush, but he just kissed the top of your head. 

“Every day she acts more and more like her father,” he said factually and quietly. 

You stared at Amora, noticing the intensity in her eyes as she chased a butterfly. “Well, she’s with you almost every day, she’s bond to pick up some of your horrid mannerism.” 

Jean laughed but it quickly faded as he held you closer. “No, I meant her real father, Reiner.” 

“Oh, him,” you whispered, giving your daughter a second glance. Your husband wasn’t wrong; everyday you noticed Reiner in her eyes. The way she stared at you sometimes, it felt like Reiner was right in front of you. “Well, I guess that can’t be helped, but you know she loves you, Jean. To her, you are her whole world, mine too.” 

Leaning your head back, you looked up at the man and smiled when you saw how red his cheeks had gotten. Laughing, you rolled your eyes and beckoned him for a kiss. “We’ve been married for three years now and you still blush like our wedding night.” 

Jean fumbled over his words but in the end all he could do from keeping you from teasing him, was to press him lips firmly against yours – and it worked. 

…. 

Captain Levi stood at the head of the wooden table; his eyes tired as per usual. 

“We leave in two days, prepare yourselves, it’s going to be a tough fight.” 

“Yes, sir,” everyone concurred, getting up from their seats to leave the room. Connie and Sasha were talking about lunch, asking if Jean and you were going to join but Levi called for your attention and you promised to catch up with the pair later. 

“Yes, Captain?” 

Levi nodded to Jean and he approached the table, asking if something was wrong. 

“I understand the two of you have a family, I’m willingly to replace one of you on this mission.” 

Surprised, you looked at Jean. “Did you ask for this?” 

“I know better than that,” he replied. 

“This is my doing,” Levi answered, taking a seat to drink his tea. 

Jean cleared his throat and explained that everyone in the squad had families. “We all have sacrifices we must make; how would it look if one of us pulls out after all this time preparing?” 

“I agree with, Jean,” you nodded. “We’ve trained so hard, this is important to us, to me.” 

Levi sat quiet for a moment, taking a long sip from his cup before replacing it on its coaster. His eyes narrowed down, and he folded his arms against his chest – frankly, he looked bored but that was nothing new. “I know this mission is important to the both of you, there is no denying Y/N has a personal matter in this but you both have a daughter to think of. I’ve known you kids for too long; I would consider this lifeline. You’re free to discuss amongst yourselves, I’ll need an answer by tonight.” 

With that, he stood up and left the room, leaving Jean and you alone. The room was quiet as the captain closed the door behind him, knowing a decision needed to be made. Although the thought of backing out of the mission you had trained so hard pained you, you were grateful that Captain Levi was kind enough to offer the choice. 

“Well, that was nice of him,” Jean murmured, shaking his head in frustration. “We could always leave Amora with your mother as we prearranged. If things go as planned, we’d only be gone for a few weeks, like last time.” 

“That was just an intel mission, this time we’re going all out.” 

“Shit,” your husband groaned, and you laughed, reaching over for his hand. He took yours and rubbed his thumb against your skin, relaying that the decision was up to you. “I’ll support whatever you decide.” 

Every inch of your heart wanted to go with him, with your comrades, but all you could think about was Amora. It also made you think of Jean and it made your heart sink; grabbing his hand tightly, your head hung low as you began to cry. 

“Shit, Jean,” you whimpered, eyes glued to the table. “You better come home to us; you hear me?” 

Your hand fell to the table as Jean’s chair screeched as he got up, walking around to you. He pulled you out of your seat and pulled you into a warm, tight embrace. His body against yours always made you feel safe, being around Jean always felt like home and you were terrified to lose him. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll come back home, and I’ll bring Reiner back to answer for what he did.”


	2. Chapter Two

The streets were empty as Jean and Connie walked side by side; the pair were headed to the local tavern to meet up with Sasha, you and the others. The mission to Marley was in less than twenty-four hours and everyone wanted to have one last night together before leaving. Tension filled the air as Jean listened to Connie go over the plan, muttering under his mouth the key points he needed to remember. Half- smiling, Jean lifted his hand to Connie’s shoulder and grabbed a hold of his friend – stopping him just a foot shy of the tavern.

“You’re going to be great, Connie. We all know what needs to be done, it’s like always – gotta save that idiot from himself.” 

Connie laughed and scratched the back of his head; his shoulders relaxing as Jean let go to reach for the door. “You’re right, things are going to be fine. I’m sure Eren is fine.” 

Jean snorted and rolled his eyes, motioning for Connie to go in first. “That idiot.” 

It was true, Eren had decided to go off on his own plan but it didn’t detour what needed to be done; Captain Levi and Hange, Armin and himself had come up with rescue and capture mission. Eren was going to get to the War Hammer and whatever other titan he could get his hands on, especially after Marley’s refusal for peace. Now more than ever, he knew what needed to be done and the thought of leaving his family behind for good, was only motivation to get back home. 

The tavern was mostly empty as he walked in after Connie, instantly he spotted you sitting among the small crowd of his comrades. You were out of your uniform, wearing a light blue dress with hair down and out of its usually ponytail. Connie hollered and rushed over while Jean took his time. Everyone was laughing and talking, but all he could focus on was you – sitting next to Sasha, laughing at whatever she was saying, and Jean’s heart pounded so fast. He could feel his cheeks bruising red and he wondered if this feeling would ever run its course and hoped it never would. 

He couldn’t help but remember the time after Reiner left and how you confessed to being with child. Jean had to admit his initial reaction was anger; he was pissed at Reiner to begin with but to leave you in that situation – he hated him for it. 

“Darling,” you cooed, reaching out a hand when Jean finally approached the table. Sasha and Connie mimicked the sweet gesture, but he ignored the pair for you. He quickly took your hand and pulled you up from the wooden bench, not caring that everyone was around. Swiftly, he tugged you closer and placed both hands on your waist. His face went red when the harassing hollers from his friends filled the tavern but none of that mattered as he smiled down at you; your face was his home and often, when he would go on small excursions with Captain Levi, he’d ride his horse and look up at the sky to feel you. That was what your love had amounted to, the sky and its vast giving’s kept Jean going when he was away from Amora and you. 

“I love you,” he whispered, eyes avoiding his friends as blush crept against his cheeks. You couldn’t help but grin at his boyish charm – after all these years, Jean was still so unsure and nervous around you. It made you love him more, each time he fumbled over his own loving words. It was sweet and endearing, and you had seen the growth in his maturity since the days of training. Back then, Jean was overly cocky and aggressive at times, but today, he stood a man. A leader with a good head on his shoulders, but above all, he was the best husband and father anyone could wish for. “I love you too, Jean,” you whispered back, kissing him lightly on the lips. “Is it too early to go home? Mother has Amora for the night…” 

Jean’s face at that point was enduringly red but he cleared his throat and brushed away a few strands of hair from your face. “In a bit, lets enjoy this night with our friends first.” 

….. 

“I’m full,” Connie announced, pushing away his plate of food towards Sasha, who gladly took to scarfing it down as if it was her last day on Earth. Shaking your head, you laughed and glanced over at Jean – he looked distracted. 

“Is something wrong, Jean?” 

“Are you nervous about the mission?” Armin smiled warmly and you looked back to Jean, wondering if that was the answer but he shook his head. “What’s wrong then?” 

Jean sighed and looked down at his empty plate, eyes narrowed to avoid contact with you. “I just wanna get the son of a bitch back here.” 

Armin chuckled nervously, giving Mikasa a look before agreeing. “We all want Eren home.” 

“No,” he rumbled, clenching his fist into a ball against the table. “I’m not talking about _that_ idiot; I’m talking about Reiner – that son of a bitch needs to answer for what he did!” 

The table went silent, no one knowing if he meant the betrayal and destruction, including Marco’s death, that Reiner had caused or what he had done to you. Feeling ill, you stared down at your plate before looking up at your friends and giving them a soft smile. 

“He’s right, “you agreed, reaching down for Jean’s hand. “Annie too, Bertholdt paid the ultimate price but we still have those two to deal with. They destroyed so many people’s lives, look what they did to Eren’s family, Armin’s and countless more. If they hadn’t taken down Wall Maria, who knows where we’d all be today. We owe Eren our support, I just wish I could be with you guys to taken down the bastards.” 

“It won’t be the same without you,” Armin admitted, his eyes soft and caring. “But we understand the decision the two of made.” 

“Thank you, guys.” Jean finally relaxed and lifted his arm around to your shoulders. “We appreciate the support; we didn’t want to do this…we trained so hard together but…” 

“You have a family to think of,” Mikasa said quietly, nodding to you. “We’ll bring back Eren and Reiner, I promise.” 

“Well it’s settled then,” you perked up, raising your cup in the air. “To a successful mission!” 

Everyone held up their cup against yours, clinking it together and smiling at one another. Your heart swelled and you just knew everyone was going to make it back, because they had to. Jean and you needed them as much as you needed each other because they were more than comrades. 

_They were your family._

“To a successful mission!”


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> smut ahead.  
> I'm a manga reader as well, will try my best to change major plot points to not spoiling season 4.

The house was quiet as the sun emerged through the window of the bedroom, it brightened and warmed the room as you laid awake. Jean was snoring soft next to you, his face calm as you stared at him – memorizing each line and the few tiny freckles that graced his face. Your reached over and lightly touched his face, rubbing your finger against his chin. He was a light sleeper, years of taking turns on night watch, did that to him, so it was seconds before his eyes fluttered open.  


“Morning, beautiful,” he cooed, pulling you into his side. His body was long and lean, biceps strong and firm as he groaned, adjusting himself as you rested against him. “Is Amora here?”  


“Not yet, I’m sure my mother will be here soon enough.”  


Jean hummed, playing with your hair. “We leave tonight.”  


“You’ll be home in no time,” you assured him, sitting up. Pulling the sheet over your bare chest, you asked if he was nervous. “I am and I’m not even going anymore.”  


“I’m just nervous leaving you two behind,” he admitted, closing his eyes. You smiled down at him and pulled back the sheet away from the two of you. His eyes snapped open, cheeks a little red as you climbed onto his lap. It only took him a mere second to switch gears, as he did the previous night after coming home from the tavern. He lifted a hand to your face, and you kissed his hand, as you felt him grow hard for you. Body aching for him, you leaned down and kissed him hard on the lips.  


Jean groaned as you reached down to touch him, his head dipping into his pillow as his wrapped an arm around your waist; lifting you up, he brought you down onto his cock, the two of you exhaling at the feeling. His hips buckled as his hand slid up your neck, bringing you down for a kiss. His lips were warm and hot, and when you gently bit his bottom lip, Jean let a grunt out.  


“Jean,” you cried out, feeling his heavy hand on your lower back, pushing you forward. He took his time, touching every inch of your body with his fingertips; gripping at your waist, whispering your name under his breath as he could barely contain himself. His desires rose higher than the walls surrounding the world, it was like this every time and his eyes couldn’t be pried off you. In uniform, you were always so strong willed; the first to step up even before him. So, seeing you like this, vulnerable and quivering under his touch, it was always a shock to his system. He loved seeing the way his body affected yours, admittedly, his old cocky self would emerge whenever he heard his name coming out of your mouth in that jarred whisper.  


“I love you,” he groaned, slowing your hips down with his hands - fingers imprinting into your skin. Your breaths were deep and hallowed as he ordered for you to get off him, asking you to lie face down. Undoubtedly loving when Jean was his commanding self, you moved down and rested your head on its side; feeling the heat of the sun coming through the window. Jean’s body was delightfully heavy on top of yours and when he pushed himself into you - you let out a muffled moan.  


Gripping the sheets, your head dipped back as Jean’s lips placed smalls kisses on your neck; his hips thrusting harder until your moans were overshadowed by the sound of skin impacting skin. His muscles flexed as his forearms came down next to your head; boxing you in as his cock dug deeper.  


“Please, Jean,” you begged, feeling the rolling of a climax swimming over you. “Please…”  


Your whimpering was his final undoing; he gave in with three more full pumps, his hips clashing against yours so hard you knew there would be bruising. Not caring, you cried out his name one last time before your head crashed against the pillow; hair shielding your face from the sun.  


“Shit,” Jean murmured, kissing your neck before sliding out and off you; he fell next to you and grinned as he reached over to brush the hair from your face. You looked spent and he couldn’t help but feel confident that he had done his duty as a husband. “I could never get tired of that.”  


“I hope not,” you laughed and turned onto your back, pushing him away playfully. “And to think, your initial reaction to us getting married was a laugh.”  


Jean’s eyes brightened and he smiled in disbelief. “Can you blame a guy? You caught me off guard!”  


“Well,” you sighed, scooting over to him as he opened his arms to you. “A girl was desperate.”  


“Shit, thanks,” he retorted, pretending to push you away until you gave him a pouty expression. Rolling his eyes, Jean pulled you back in and kissed you on the head. “That night seems like so long ago…”  


_The hall to the living barracks was empty as you waited nervously for Jean; it was late, but you had asked him to meet you after everyone was asleep. Jean was a bit confused as to why you wanted to meet up with him, but he had agreed, nonetheless._

__

__

__

_Your nerves rattled as you stared at the door to the men’s dorm, waiting for it to open and jumping at every little sound. Eventually, Jean walked out the dorm, wearing sleeping pants and a white shirt – he looked groggily as he approached you._

__

_“What’s going on?”_

__

_Your heart pounded as you drew a breath of bravery. “I need a favor from you, Jean.”_

__

_His face fell. “You made me come out this late for a freaking favor?”_

__

_“I did, this isn’t just some run of the mill favor. I need you to marry me, Jean.”_

__

_The young man’s eyes widen, and he laughed – a big, obnoxious laugh. “Is this some kind of joke? Because that’s pretty funny – listen, I’m headed back to bed….”_

__

_“No! You can’t leave!”_

__

_Your desperate demand echoed in the hallway and Jean grabbed you by the arm, leading you away from the dorms. “How about you quiet down and tell me what really is going on.”_

__

_His hand moved to your shoulder and he asked quietly if something was wrong, concern colored his voice and it brought you comfort. Jean, although overly cock at times, had been one of your closest friends since training. You had taken to his side on all things Eren and he had appreciated your voice of reasoning during trying times between the two of them. You weren’t sure why, but you had a soft spot for Jean._

__

_You also knew about his feelings for Mikasa and how unrequited they were._

__

_“Mikasa is never going to give you the time of day,” you blurted out. Jean’s face turned red as he fumbled for words, telling you he didn’t know what you were talking about. “It’s obvious, Jean. I’m sorry but she can’t give you what you deserve – not with Eren around.”_

__

_“Why are you saying these things.” He was on the defense, but the hurt in his eyes made you feel guilty. Clutching your fist, you apologized. His demeanor changed and he asked again, “What’s wrong.”_

__

_Unable to hold back any longer, you began to cry. “I’m with child, Jean…”_

__

_There was nothing but silence until he let out a low curse. “If you’re asking me to marry you then the father isn’t in the picture…who’s the father?”_

__

_Looking down at the ground, you whispered Reiner’s name and all Jean could do was yell. “That bastard!”_

__

_Urging him to quiet down, you lifted a hand to his mouth and finally stared into his eyes. “Jean, please, I can’t do this alone. Reiner left knowing I was with his child; I don’t know what to do. I’ve been thinking about this for weeks now, I thought of all the possibilities and I figured it had to be one of my friends. Connie isn’t mature enough for this and Armin, well, I love Armin, but he isn’t my type.”_

__

_“Your type?”_

__

_Shrugging, you smiled weakly. “I want to at least be attracted to my husband and you were the only person I could think of. I know you don’t have eyes for me but maybe we can make this work.”_

__

_Jean stepped back away from your hand and started pacing around you; scratching his head as he frantically muttered under his breath. Marriage wasn’t some game, but it was something he always dreamt up. Having a wife and family, plus you just admitted to being attracted to him._

__

_You stood and watched him, praying he’d do this for you and understanding if he couldn’t._

__

_“You can say no, Jean,” you said, letting out a sigh. “I know marriage should be for love and love only, but can you imagine a world where you could love me?”_

__

_Jean stopped pacing then, his eyes drawing to yours; he took in the sight of you under the soft light from the wall lanterns. It wasn’t as if he didn’t like you; you were his friend and one of the few people he felt truly comfortable around plus you always took his side when it came to that moron, Eren. Still, he couldn’t help but think of Mikasa._

__

_“I know I’m not her,” you whispered, giving him a sincere smile. “But I promise I’m not so bad.”_

__

__

__

“You were right, you know,” Jean said as his fingers danced across your bare shoulder. “I’m always right,” you agreed, and he laughed.

__

“Well, sure but that night in the hallway, outside the dorms – you said you weren’t so bad…”

__

Looking up at him, you asked what the verdict was. Grinning, he pushed you down onto your back and climbed on top of you, bringing his head down to yours. His nose rubbed against your neck, working its way up to your face where he placed a gentle kiss onto your cheek. 

__

“I agree, you’re not so bad.”

__


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Flashback scene.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Possible season 4 spoilers, will try my best to change major plot points.

The infirmary hall was quiet except the sounds of you groaning and crying out in pain, Jean paced back and forth while Connie and Sasha watched him. They stood against the opposite wall of the door, avoiding eye contact with it as your cries echoed in the air. Jean’s fist clutched in frustration until the door swung opened and the nurse poked her head out into the hallway.

“Mr. Kirstein, your wife is asking for you.”

Jean, taken back from someone referring to you as his wife, hesitated for a moment until Connie touched his shoulder and gave him a little push. “Go on, she’s waiting.”

“Right,” he answered, taking a deep breath as he walked to the door. His hand touched the knob and for a split second, he was afraid – more afraid than he had ever been. Titans and comrades betraying him was one thing but becoming a father? It was downright terrifying but then he heard your voice calling out for him. His feet went warm and he walked into the room, closing the door behind him. 

You were on the infirmary bed, hair matted with sweat against your forehead; his eyes diverted from the parting of your legs and he rushed over to your side, grabbing a hold of your hand.

“I thought I didn’t need you in here with me,” you confessed, wincing in pain. “But…. I need you, Jean.”

His face was warm, and he was sweating already, but he gave your hand a tight squeeze and smiled. “I’m your husband, I’ll always be here for you.”

The kindness on his handsome face brought tranquility into your heart and suddenly you were determined to push harder than you ever had; the nurse noted that the baby was almost out and that you needed to give one last big push. Looking up at Jean, his eyes softened for a moment before becoming focused.

“You can do this, give it your all.”

Nodding, you held onto his hand and with the last standing strength you could summon, you welcomed a little baby girl into the world.

….

The room was quiet, the last of the visitors, Armin and Eren, had left to give your new family time alone. You were surprised that Jean even let Eren hold the baby but weren’t surprised that Armin had a better holding technique. Feeling tired, you had fallen asleep longer than you expected because when you had finally awakened, it was night.

“How long was I sleeping for?”

Jean, who held your daughter in his arms, smiled. “A few hours, she’s doing fine, hasn’t cried once.”

Carefully sitting up, you watched as Jean cradled the little girl, his eyes enamored with love. His expression made you smile because truthfully, you weren’t sure how Jean would feel towards the child. After all, she was Reiner’s biologically child and you knew what his feelings were towards the man, but Jean was clearly in love. 

“I’d like to name her Amora,” he spoke, getting up from the chair. He walked over to the bed and sat on the edge facing you. “I know I’m not her real father, but I’d like to name her.”

“You’re her father, Jean,” you said, reaching your hand out to his forearm. Touching him, you smiled your daughter. “She’s yours Jean, you’re the one she’s going to run to when someone hurts her – you’re her father and nothing or no one, will ever change that.”

He was quiet for a moment, taking in the situation around him; it seemed he was finally getting the family he had always wanted and when he looked over to you, he could only see you. Any thoughts of Mikasa or how angry Eren made him for even existing, none of that mattered. You had given him something he always dreamed of and he would live each day knowing he was the luckiest man alive.

“Thank you,” he finally whispered, letting out a low exhale. Drawing his eyes over to you, he saw how strong of a woman you were, and he knew in his heart, that this was fate – you were his fate. “I love you.”

His confession made your body still for all the right reasons; the two of you had gotten married nearly eight months ago. It was a surprise to all but only Connie and the others knew the absolute truth; they fully supported your decision to marry Jean and raise the child as his. They all promised to keep the truth a secret, even Captain Levi understood. So, when Jean and you eloped, everyone, including yourselves, thought of it as an act of duty – a real test of friendship. 

Yet, here he was, confessing his genuine love and up until now, you hadn’t realized how much you wanted to hear it. It was true, your relationship started as a favor but over the course of your pregnancy, you had slowly fallen in love with Jean. He had changed, matured, but was still his utterly ridiculous self at times and it was fine by you because you wanted all of him. The cockiness, the confidence, and the Jean that no one else had any chance of seeing; his soft and caring demeanor. He was funny and levelheaded, except when it came to Eren but that was always fun to watch. Jean had brought out a different side in you, he opened your heart to certain possibilities and although you had promised yourself to never compare the two; he was different from Reiner, who was closed off. Although he could be shy at times, fumbling his words like a schoolboy, Jean always made it a point to be upfront about things. With Reiner, he never was his true self and you realized now that you really didn’t know him. 

Holding back tears, you touched the side of Jean’s face and took in the first breath of your new life.

“I love you too.”


	5. Chapter 5

It had been six days now, more than you had expected for Jean to be gone. Amora was constantly asking for her father and while you explained, each time, that he was off doing something very important, she cried nonetheless. Although you had carried her in your womb, Jean was the one that knew Amora the most; he could get her to stop crying in seconds, while it took you minutes to even alleviate her anguish. All the nights he stayed up with her, casting you back to sleep but you always just laid in bed watching them together. When she was an infant, Jean would cradle her around the small bedroom, dimming the light enough so he wouldn’t disturb you but also could see where he was walking.

You would watch peacefully, astonished that this man, who had no blood claim to your daughter, was humming and smiling at her as she rocked in his arms. It was evident in those times, that she was really no longer yours, as much as his. It was a gift you were happy to give him and hoped one day, he’d give you a child. Just the thought alone had brought tears to your eyes and when you finally brought it up to Jean, he was ecstatic and eager but things had changed once Amora grew older. Both of you became even more dedicated to the regiment and your new family, it was hard balancing the two but somehow, Jean and you made it work. Thoughts of another child were placed on hold but you had a feeling when this was finally over - the fight against Marley, another child was in your future.

“Mommy, can we go get Dad’s favorite bread?”

The two of you were walking hand in hand towards the market, she was going on and on about having Jean’s favorite bread prepared before he came home. You hadn’t the heart to tell her you weren’t quite sure when that would be, so you agreed and asked her to lead the way. Amora skipped forward, her dark blond hair was pulled into a braid and when she turned to smile up at you - Reiner stared back at you. 

You wondered if he looked as innocent as Amora when he was a child, wondered if his childhood was as peaceful as hers and mostly important, you wondered if he even thought of her. The anger no longer resided in your veins, instead there was an internal sadness for him. He was never going to hear her first cries into the world or witness her first steps, which had Jean jumping for joy around the house. Or make a bet on her first words, of course, Jean won that when she babbled out “dada” that summer afternoon. Reiner was never going to experience those precious moments and you were sad for him. These feelings you had expressed to Jean and while he had his own personal thoughts on Reiner, he understood where you came from.

_“That son of a bitch missed out,” he whispered, adjusting a sleeping Amora on his shoulders. The two of you were walking home after dinner with your folks, they adored Jean for stepping up but you couldn’t blame them. He was working up in the ranks and was a doting husband and father - what was there to not adore?_

_“She’s going to be two soon,” you smiled, lifting a hand to brush hair from her face. Jean grinned and kissed his daughter on the cheek, before reaching over with his free hand to you. Pulling you to him, he stopped walking and brought his arm around your waist. He was much taller than you, but his eyes were soft like a school boy._

_“We’ll celebrate with Connie and the others,” he whispered, tilting his head down to yours. “I love you.”_

_Heat rose to your face as his eyes slowly closed, lips finding yours like a magnet. Your eyes fluttered as Amora struggled in his arms for a moment as he kissed you, soft and gentle under the low sunset. When he pulled away, you reached up and touched his hair, it was a bit longer than his usual cut._

_“I love you too,” you hummed, patting him lightly on the face. “You know, I think you’d look even more attractive with longer hair…”_

_Jean’s cheeks went red as you laughed and walked away, only to hear him shuffling a few seconds later to catch up with you. “Long hair, huh?”_

The bakery had bread straight from the oven displayed as Amora and you walked up. Allowing her to pick a loaf, you watched with amusement as her face scrunched up in serious gumption. It seemed it was truly important for her to pick out the perfect bread for her father, but after staring for more than a few minutes, you urged her to pick a loaf.

“Let her take her time, sweetheart.”

Amora and you both perked up from the bread, heads turning to the right to see Jean; he looked tired but he was alive and well. Your heart warmed as Amora, forgetting about the bread, ran straight to her father. He picked her up swiftly and held her tight, kissing her on the cheek several times as her tiny arms cradled his neck. They rubbed noses together and when he placed her down, he gave her extra money to pick out two loaves of bread. Bouncing with joy, she rushed back to the display and you let out a deep relieved breath as Jean made his way to you.

“I’m back,” he said, bringing you into a heavy embrace. There were so many things you wanted to ask, but all you could do was be thankful that he made it home. Holding back tears, you held him tight and felt the weight on his head on your shoulders. His breaths were labored as his body leaned against yours, he was tired - physically and mentally. Rubbing his shoulders, you asked if everyone was okay.

“Connie, Sasha, the others?”

“They are okay. We were able to retrieve Eren and a few others,” he whispered, voice aching with guilt and pain. “Floch and the others think it was a victory but we lost six comrades, what kind of victory is that?” The defeat in his voice brought you to tears, but he needed you, so you quickly brushed them away before hugging him tighter. “It’s no victory but I’m glad you came back to us, Jean. We missed you so much.”

He nodded, pulling away as ran a hand over his face. “Amora and you brought me home, so thank you." 

Smiling, you took his hand and nodded over to the bakery stand. “We better go help her decide otherwise we’ll be here all day.”

Tugging his hand, you began to walk away but he pulled you back. Jean’s face fell as you asked what was wrong and you knew it then, felt it in your gut. 

“He’s here, isn’t he…”

Your husband sighed, giving you a small smile. “Reiner’s back.”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> season 4 spoilers, nothing that hasn't been showed in the anime. Manga spoilers tho. Nothing too crazy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> SMUT in this part.

  
_The movements in the woman’s dorm came down to Sasha shuffling around in her bed as Historia snored softly and Mikasa slept soundly. The few other women had been sleeping for sometime now while you counted down the minutes and breaths of your fellow comrades. Everything was calculated, each time no different than the other - you were to wait until everyone in the dorm was asleep. Then you would casually get up, as if you were going to use the lavatory but you would take a little detour._

_The walk to the rendezvous spot was quiet and reserved for the nerves that wrecked your body each time. You weren’t afraid of getting caught, really, the punishment would be nothing but extra cleaning from Captain Levi. What you were nervous about was meeting him and whether he’d show up or not. You were never quite sure what was going on in his head most of the time, he was like a puzzle you wanted so desperately to solve. So, you kept coming in the dark of the night, hoping he’d come too. Arriving at the familiar door, you took a deep breath and took a hold of the door knob, praying he was inside waiting for you._

__

________ _ _ _ _

__

______

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_The small utility room was always unlatched, nothing inside was important enough to keep it locked. There was a small dim of light coming from a candle burning on a wooden table positioned at the center of the room, an indication he had come. Closing the door behind you, the beating of your heart settled as Reiner’s face appeared against the light. He stood tall, face serious as always as you stepped up to the table._

__

__

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_“Sorry it took me so long, Sasha and the others were especially talkative tonight.”_

____

__

____

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____

__

____

_“You don’t need to apologize,” he said, shoulders relaxing as you stepped up to him. His eyes softened a bit as you smiled.. “I’m just surprised you keep showing up.”_

_____ _

__

_____ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____ _

__

_____ _

_“Ah, well,” you laughed nervously. “You’re just a mystery I’d like to solve.”_

______ _ _

__

______ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _

__

______ _ _

_Reiner smiled then, but somehow his eyes told a different story. They were sad, confused, you weren’t quite sure. Ignoring it, you placed a hand upon his shoulder, sliding it up around his neck. His body tensed for a moment before bringing you closer to him; both hands on your waist as his head moved down into the crook of your neck. His body seemed to slump against yours and although he was bigger than you, you held him up effortlessly. You were sure he wasn’t putting on his weight on you as you stroked the back of his hair, pressing a kiss onto his right cheek._

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______ _ _ _

__

_______ _ _ _

_“You seem tense tonight, are you okay?”_

________ _ _ _ _

__

________ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _

__

________ _ _ _ _

_Reiner stood quiet for a moment before pulling away, bringing both hands to your face. His thumbs gently rubbed against your cheeks and then you laughed when he squished them together; your cheeks looked full and all he did was smile before releasing you._

_________ _ _ _ _ _

__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________ _ _ _ _ _

__

_________ _ _ _ _ _

_He sighed then and sat at the edge of the table. “I just - Bertholdt and I aren’t agreeing on a few things. Just two old friends bickering is all…”_

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_You moved in between his legs and caressed his face, his breaths were heavy as your fingers massaged his temples. He relaxed then and playfully tugged you down to him. His hands moved up your back and before you could even say a word, his mouth was hot and firm against yours. Knowing then what he needed, you made little work of removing your bottoms as you listened to him undoing his belt. He was hard and eager as he adjusted himself further onto the table - feet firmly on the ground as your knees climbed onto the table, straddling him._

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Then he asked the same question he always did._

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“Are you sure?”_

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_____________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“What do I need to be sure about, Reiner. I’m here, aren’t I?”_

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_He smiled then, looking down for a moment. “Never thought someone like you would be with someone like me.”_

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Lifting your bottom up, you contemplated his words as you reached down for him. He was firm as your hand pumped him a few times before maneuvering yourself onto him; letting out a small cry, you held onto his shoulders and kissed his forehead. “I don’t even know who you are, Reiner but I suppose it doesn’t really matter…”_

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_His eyes shut, fingers grabbed at your waist as you came fully down onto him. The two of you were still, adjusting to the warm feeling in the air as he apologized. You asked for what, shifting your hips forward - he felt familiar as he began to lift you up and down his lap._

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Grunting, he dipped his head back to look at you; his eyes were shaking against the dimming candle. He touched your face with a hand and sighed deeply. “If I show you who I really am, you wouldn’t give me a second glance.”_

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Biting down on your lip, your body rocked against his. Ignoring his words for the time being, you focused on your own movements. Panting, you tugged at his hair and withdrew his attention from the conversation. He then became the Reiner you knew in uniform - confident and demandingly so. His strong arms held you at the waist; growing impatient, he grunted loudly as he roughly tugged your hips forward. His fingers pressed into your skin as you cried out his name, the table promising to collapse at any moment but neither of you cared._

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_The feeling of your bodies against each other was enough to foil any distractions, when it was the two of you in the small, dark room, nothing truly mattered. It seemed like the two of you were lifted from the world and it’s pending doom, no titans, no contemplations - just two souls trying desperately to feel something. Even if it was a nightly façade, it was your favorite time of the day. You’d count the hours and loathed the days when excursions brought you away from the utility room._

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_Reiner said your name, his voice echoing in the air as you kissed him on the mouth. His fingers tangled into your hair, thrusting his hips slowly - he was edging you as he always did. Teasing you fondly until you cried out his name, hitting him on the shoulder in frustration. He smirked then, even giving a little laugh as you begged him to go faster._

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_____________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“You don’t need to beg with me,” he whispered, bringing his finger to your mouth. He pulled down your bottom lip, letting it go to grab a hold of your chin. “Finish with me.”_

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_It was a soft command, but he held your chin as you bounced on his lap; faster each time until your knees started to ache as well as the pit of your stomach. It was then, when he pulled you down by the neck that you felt the rolling sensation come over you, and when your mouth pushed against his - your body rocked in heavenly disbelief. Shaking against him, all Reiner could do was whisper your name and hold onto your waist for strength._

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

.... 

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

The hall to the holding cell was cold and damp, but you wore the sweater Jean had bought you in Marley during the last intel excursion. It was dark green and made of wool; you had never owned a sweater in that material before and Jean made sure you left the country, that thought you were all devils, with it. 

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin was at the bottom of the steps, his hair much shorter than he had ever had it. You had teased Jean that he was lucky Armin hadn’t had that hairstyle four years ago. It was a joke of course, you adored Armin but only as a close friend. 

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

His eyes, large and comforting, held out a hand as you reached the last step. His palm squeezed against yours as he asked if you were going to be fine. 

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“I’m surprised Jean agreed to let you do this,” he smiled weakly, letting your hand go. Pulling the hem down of your sweater, which laid against your white dress, you just smiled.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

“My husband is many things and fair is one of them. He brought Reiner here for many reasons and this is one of them.”

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Armin’s face settled into determination and he mentioned he’d be nearby. “Just call for me if you need anything. He’s in the last cell, the only one with a window.”

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Thanking him, you started toward the cells, and with each empty cell you passed, your heart pounded harder. It had been four years since you last saw Reiner, and now here you were, walking to him. Each step felt heavier than the last until you stood in front of his cell. 

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Your fist balled at your side as you approached the metal bars, Reiner's back to you as he looked out the window. Heart beating so badly, you were sure he could hear. Closing your eyes for a moment, you thought of all the nights together in the utility room and it all came back to you. Feeling dizzy, you reached for one of the bars and said his name, whispered it as you had done many times before. 

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

Palms aching from your own strength, you let go of the bar as he finally turned around and all you could think about was what he had said that night before everything happened. The last time you snuck out to meet him.

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

_“If I show you who I really am, you wouldn’t give me a second glance.”_

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

Those haunting words meant little at the time, but now you knew the truth, knew who he really was. He was sent here to destroy the devils of Paradis and he had done that to an extent, but the man who stood in front of you - he looked older and more broken down than you had remembered. His face was hard but there was that underlined confliction in his eyes that had been hard to forget. Yet, there was something else you saw that made your heart ache for him - Amora. 

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

Reiner’s eyes widened before falling to the ground as he pushed from the wall, his boots marched to you. When he reached the cell, he brought a hand to a bar and nodded, speaking your name out loud for the first time in years. 

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

Holding back tears, you gave him a small smile and touched his hand. “Hello, Reiner.”

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

________________________________________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

___________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__

__

__

_______________________ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

__


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Angst. Possible S4 spoilers.

Amora bounced from one foot to the other, a few strands of hair had untangled from her braid. She counted how many hops she could do before losing her balance, thrusting a fist in the air when she achieved nearly a hundred. Jean watched, amused and frightened, lingering a few feet away. Every so often, his eyes went to the building across the court yard, straight to the single window on the lower floor. It was the basement holding cells, the window had a perfectly angled view of the court and that’s what was frightening.

“Dad! Can you count for me? I want to pass 100!” 

Jean’s eyes flashed away from the window to the little girl in front of him; he smiled then, even though her eyes were truly her fathers. It scared him and sometimes he felt guilty. Amora was the love of his life, but his worst nightmare was that Renier would somehow take it all back. Especially now, knowing you were confronting him at this very moment. Insecurity flooded his cheeks at the thought but then he felt a little tugging at his hand and looked down to see his daughter smiling up at him. 

“Of course, sweetheart,” he grinned, reaching down to grab her. She giggled as he tossed her up in the air before laying a few sweet kisses on her cheek. “Let’s see if you can beat me.” 

… 

Reiner glared out the window, waiting for something to happen - for anything to happen. His back was sore but he couldn’t stand the thought of sleep; not when he knew that sooner or later certain people of his past would show up. At least, he hoped and even he knew he didn’t deserve any sort of hope. He stared out the window some more, wondering why they would put him in a cell with a window. 

Was it a gesture of good faith? 

They knew he wouldn’t run. 

Hell, he didn’t have it in him and frankly, he was a bit relieved to be back on Paradis. It was tiring being on Marley, surrounded by his people and the constant reminder of what he had done for them. Being back, among the _devils_ , felt familiar and comforting - it should have felt shameful, according to the ideology he grew up with but it just felt nice. 

Reiner studied the outside, noticing then, Jean in the courtyard across from the building he was in. He stood in uniform, hands on his hips. He wondered why he was just standing there but then he saw a little blond girl hopping from one foot to the other in front of Jean. Reiner smiled then, surprised to see that his former comrade had managed to have himself a daughter, and for a moment, he felt envious. Then Jean picked up the little girl and Reiner looked away, not wanting to intrude on such a heartfelt moment. Holding back a smile, he turned around and his heart sank to his ankles. 

You stood there, looking a bit older from the last time he had seen you; beautiful in a warm dress and green cardigan. He stood frozen for a moment before stepping forward, his eyes narrowing to the ground as he finally stood in front of you. Unable to stable himself on his own two feet, he reached for the bar and held it tight. Your name came barreling from his mouth, it was the first time in years that he had spoken it out loud - and when your hand came over his, he felt ill. 

“Hello, Reiner,” you smiled, giving his hand a squeeze before letting go. “It’s been a while, huh?” 

He nodded. “It has.” 

Unable to calm your nerves, you stuck both hands into the pocket of your cardigan and shrugged lightly - trying to hold a smile on your face like you had rehearsed but it was simply too hard. Reiner was right in front of you and all you could do was think back to that terrible day. When everyone was determined to take back Wall Maria at any cost, and the debt was paid heavily. The wall was secured, it’s true but cornering Reiner before Hange and Jean could get to him, that moment still haunted you. 

_“Reiner!”_

_He stumbled to the ground, back hitting a brick wall as you pulled the sword in your hand down to your side. The energy was draining from his eyes as he looked up at you; steam fuming from the two nubs that were his arms. It felt wrong to hurt him like that, but in the end, you weren’t going to give him a chance to run away._

_“All this time,” you cried out, tears streaming down your face. Lips quivered as you gripped the sword handle, pointing the tip against his neck. His eyes stared into yours and you hated him for a split second before thinking of all the times spent together in the utility room. This man, who betrayed your friends, you - he had fulfilled you in some many ways and now everything was destroyed under an illusion._

_“I needed to do this,” he said and it pissed you off, the coldness in his tone. “You have no idea - don’t understand.”_

_Closing your eyes, you felt his touch on your body but when you opened them - he was still on the ground. His face was handsome and hard, and you knew then that’s why he was carefully guarded this whole time. All these years, he never really let anyone in - not even you and now you knew why._

_He was a traitor but worst of all - he was the father of your unborn child._

_“You could have told me,” you yelled, kicking him in the leg. “Or was I just a play thing! Someone to help you bid your time with! Did you even care about me? Answer me, Reiner!”_

_He hung his head low. “I couldn’t trust anyone with this. I’m sorry.”_

_“Fuck you,” you spat out, heart crushing as the sound of someone’s ODM gear grew closer. Time was running out, it was now or never. “Reiner, I need to tell you something…”_

_Reiner looked up, eyes focused on you. “Then say it before your friends come.”_

_“They were your friends once too,” you chuckled sarcastically, pulling the sword away from his neck. “Leave it to me to have a child with one of the traitors of my people.”_

_His eyes widened then and you thought, foolishly, that he’d changed his mind. That your admission would give him a change of heart, that he’d vowed to turn himself in and try to amend things for the child you carried. Then the perfect fantasy shattered as his face fell and he shook his head._

_“I don’t want anything to do with that child,” he grunted, eyes diverting from yours. The wind was knocked out of you, his words stinging worse than anything you had ever felt. “Don’t you dare tell anyone I fathered a child with a devil like you.”_

_There was no chance to rebuttal or even cry because Hange and Jean arrived - the latter patting your back proudly for capturing Reiner. You stumbled back as they began to interrogate him. Losing balance, you tried to catch yourself but before you could do a thing, your bottom hit the floor. Tears rattled down your face, your hand coming over your mouth to stop from screaming. Everything else was a blur up until Reiner was taken away by the Beast Titan. The last thing you remembered from that moment was Jean helping you off the floor, the two of you, along with Hange, rushing to the rooftop where Levi and the others were._

“Did you see her outside the window?” 

“See who?” 

The smile faded from your face as Reiner glanced back at the window, his head tilting in confusion before asking what you meant. He surely would have seen Jean and Amora outside - there was a reason why you asked the pair to wait for you in the courtyard. Jean made no vocal objections because he knew it had to be done. Yet, you were worried he’d feel backed in the corner. He was willingly to fight for Amora and you, but there was no competition. Jean was Amora’s father, the one she adored and cried for - Reiner was the man who helped bring her into this world with a warm touch in a cold utility room. That was all his role was in this story but he still had a part. That’s why Jean arranged for Reiner to be put in this particular holding cell - it held the one and only window with a perfect view. 

“Your daughter,” you answered, nodding behind him. “She’s out there.”


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> possible S4 spoilers.

The sweat on his forehead was warm, your words echoed in Reiner’s head as you stood there watching him. His mouth was dried out as he thought of the little girl outside the window - he thought that was Jean’s daughter but it was his. His heart began to pound, guilt rattled his bones as he stumbled back. His body was already tired, but this was the final blow as he collapsed down onto the bed and you called out for Armin.

“No,” Reiner croaked out, holding up a hand. “I’m fine.” 

“You’re in shock,” you reasoned, watching to see if Armin had heard. He had, his boots were loud coming down the stairs. When he approached, a little breathless, you pointed to the cell. “Open it up.” 

“I can’t do that,” he urged but you persisted. 

“Look at him,” you pointed to Reiner. “He’s weak, he’s not going to hurt anyone, especially me.”

Armin’s eyes flickered to the broken looking man and sighed. “Very well, but Jean won’t be happy.”

“I’ll deal with my husband later,” you smiled, moving aside when Armin brought out the key. Standing by, you watched as he opened it and let you in. He handed over the key and made you promise to call him if anything happened. “Thanks, Armin.”

You waited until he was out of sight to walk into the cell, closing the door behind you. There was a pitcher of water on the table next to the bed, so you walked over and poured a cup for Reiner. He sat on the edge of the bed, head hung low as you shoved the cup into his chest. “Drink up. Are they feeding you decent at least?” 

Reiner held the cup to his lips but stared up at you. “So, Jean and you, huh?” 

“We’ve been married for a few years now.” 

“Explains why he punched the shit out of me.” Your face perked up and you asked if it hurt. Reiner chugged down the water and nodded. “Like hell.” 

“Good,” you beamed proudly. “Not like you don’t deserve it - you’re lucky he didn’t kill you with his bare hands.” 

“I don’t think he has it in him,” Reiner answered, getting up from the bed. He placed the cup back down on the table and walked over to the window. You stared at him and felt sorry for him, here he was imprisoned by the people who were his friends. Even if it was one sided, everyone, including you, liked Reiner. He was always so helpful and cool, eager to lead and give out words of encouragement. He was well received and liked, but now look at him. 

“You don’t know Jean anymore,” you argued, fist clenched in a ball. There were few things that made you angry in life now that you were a mother but one of them was anyone bad talking your husband. Reiner turned to look at you, eyes waiting as you calmed yourself down. “He’s not overly cocky anymore, he’s a real man. He has something to fight for and that little girl out there, she’s what keeps him fighting.” “I’m sorry,” Reiner apologized but it was too late - you were angry for the first time since he left. 

“You don’t get to be sorry, Reiner,” you argued, approaching him. His face softened for a split second before you pushed him against the wall, demanding him to look out the window. “Look! Look what you left behind!”

His eyes zeroed in on Amora, who was still hopping from one foot to the other as Jean watched on. Reiner wanted to look away but he was mesmerized by the little girl - from what he could see, she looked like him. He just hoped she was nothing like him. 

“I was in Marley, you know.”

Reiner looked upon you in disbelief and you laughed. “Yeah, they hate us - called us devils. I heard the way they talked about us, the Devils of Paradis. Even the Eldians called us devils and for what? They are treated like second class citizens, lower than the shit a dog leaves behind. Isn’t that right, Reiner?”

He said nothing as he turned back to the window, eyes drawing to the daughter he left behind. “I had my reasons for leaving.” 

“I know,” you said quietly, moving over next to him to stare out the window. “I wondered for a while why you hadn’t asked me to go with you that day. All you had to do was ask.” 

Reiner looked at you, eyes drawn into yours. “Would you have?” 

The two of you stared at each other for seconds before you smiled and shook your head. “No, and now I know why you hadn’t asked. I always thought it was simply because I was this devil whore you wanted to play with, but it all made sense once I landed on Marley.” 

“What made sense?” 

“We would have never been accepted for anything but the island devils we were,” you explained with a laugh. “Your family would have rejected the child, even though she has your eyes and dazzling personality. We are nothing but devils to those on Marley and you knew that, that’s why you told me not to tell anyone that she was yours. That’s why you left us here.” He said nothing but withdrew a few steps from the window, bringing both hands to his face. It was obvious he was in pain, agony was written in his eyes as he attempted to hide them from you but you weren’t going to let him off easy. 

Not again. 

“I’m sorry, Reiner,” you whispered, reaching over to grab his arm. “I’m sorry you were brainwashed as a child, taken away from your family and thrusted into a world where you had to make friends with the enemy. Where you had to sleep next to the people whose lives you destroyed. Eren, Armin, countless others - I think about it all the time, what you could have had. Maybe then you could have watched your daughter grow up, as she has - happy and carefree.”

Tears flooded Reiner’s face as he whispered something, unable to hear, you asked him to repeat what he had said. His hands fell from his face and he opened his eyes - wild and sincere. “I wanted to die! I tried to kill myself weeks ago but I couldn’t stop imagining what she might have looked like. I wanted to die, but not without seeing her first! So, please, let me see her!”

His desperate request had you frozen in shock- this was not what you had expected Reiner to say. Nor would you agree to introduce him to Amora under those circumstances. You wanted Reiner to answer for all his actions, but not with his life - not like Bertholdt. No matter what he had done, all the terrible things, you never wanted him dead - it never crossed your mind. Holding back tears, you calmly walked back to the window and beckoned Reiner over. He did so, the two of you stood shoulder to shoulder. His eyes followed yours, as you smiled and pointed at Amora.

“Does she look like a devil to you, Reiner?”

His lips quivered and he shook his head no. “She’s beautiful.”

The two of you observed Jean and Amora peacefully for several minutes, every so often, you’d glance over to Reiner and notice how focused he was. It was obvious he was absorbing every second he could, watching her as she raced around Jean, skipping and tossing her hands up for him to throw her in the air. He even chuckled when her screams of joy were so loud he could hear, it was then that Reiner’s face fell and he asked if Jean was good to the two of you.

“Jean had always wanted a family, I remember him talking about it during training,” he said.

“I remember, but he always wanted to marry Mikasa,” you laughed. “Poor bastard ended up with me.”

Reiner glanced at you, shaking his head. “I’m sorry I left you in that situation. I want to say I wish it never happened but…”

“Now that she’s here, you’re glad we spent those nights in the utility room,” you smiled and he nodded, face red. “It’s okay, Reiner. I like to think things happen for a reason, that’s why Jean secretly thanks you.” 

“Thanks me? Why the hell would he thank me?”

Staring out the window, you watched as Jean brought Amora up over his shoulders. She held onto his head as he stormed around and all you could do was smile. “Because, he knows if it wasn’t for you, he wouldn’t have his family. Although it wasn’t exactly what he had pictured for himself, he would do anything for us - for that little girl. That’s why he named her Amora.” 

Reiner’s heart fastened, eyes glued to his daughter. “Amora?” “He wanted to honor you in his own way,” you explained, laughing a bit. “It’s a little silly but you’re the Armored Titan…” 

_“I know it’s silly,” Jean confessed, cheeks bruised red. You looked over to him as he held your newborn daughter - the two of you laid side by side in bed. It was early in the morning, Amora was sleeping after a morning feed. “I just - although, I hate the bastard for doing what he did to Marco, to Eren’s mother, to everyone but…”_

_You smiled and touched the side of Jean’s face. “He’s given us this, hasn’t he? Our own little family, and we can’t hate him for that.”_

_“I could try,” he joked and you laughed, rolling your eyes. “But, seriously, I - I know he’s the Armored titan and we can’t outright name her Reiner. I thought Amora would be a nice tribute.”_

_“You do know she also came from me, right?”_

_Jean laughed. “Come on, work with me! I’m trying to do the honorable thing, here. You know how hard that is for me.”_

_“Okay, okay,” you whispered, looking down at your daughter. “Amora it is.”_

“He wanted to pay tribute to you.”

Reiner’s eyes moved from Amora to Jean, and he could feel the punch he had landed on his face a few days ago. Everyone was back on Paradis but camped out for the night before heading back to base. He was sitting at the campfire with everyone else and had asked Armin about you - Reiner didn’t understand at the time why his question had set Jean off, but now he knew. He had abandoned his child for a world that would never accept her, and now Jean was her father - her true father. 

“Jean’s a good man, I don’t know how to thank him enough.”

“You can thank him by helping us,” you explained, reaching down for Reiner’s hand. “Help us defend this island, help us keep the world safe for her.”

Reiner stared out at his daughter and for the first time, in a long time, felt hoped. Grabbing a hold of your hand, he gave it a tight squeeze and promised to do what he needed to. “I will keep this world safe for her.”


End file.
